Every year when I see those big, round, orange pumpkins hit the stores, I feel so happy. I have such big plans for what I’m going to carve. Intricate masterpieces, works of art, carvings that are downright spooky!
Yet every year, that nasty, horrible thing called adulthood takes over. So many things to do, so little time, and the procurement of said pumpkins gets put off time and again until it’s the last minute and I only manage to get some decent gourds because I have unnaturally large arms and can reach the gems hiding deep in the center of the pulpy, rotting orange mass. Sigh.
This year I didn’t scoop and carve until the night of Halloween itself. It was late, I was tired, and instead of enjoying what is one of my favorite once a year pastimes, I just wanted to get it over with. Double sigh.
So now that I’ve shown you all the awesome carvings in all their pumpkin glory that I wanted to do, it’s time to reveal my (lame excuse for a) jack o’lantern, while diverting your attention by telling you how it’s really quite a calculated move because I saw a picture of a moose eating a pumpkin and I figured that a moose wouldn’t be able to resist eating a pumpkin with a moose carved in it, so it’s all a part of my evil plan bwahaha. (Did you buy that story? Yeah, I didn’t either.) Once again, my dreams of pumpkin carving splendor must wait until next year.